For the last 90 mornings, I have been reading 90 Days of God’s Goodness by Randy Alcorn. Each day included scripture, a small story, and a prayer. During this time, I was able to redirect my focus in the morning onto God. The focus of the book was to show that God is good in the midst of suffering. To be honest, it was hard to believe that God was with me during these pains, but I know he was, still is and will always be.
I’ve been learning a lot about God and his grace for me. He’s been teaching me a lot, even if it is extremely painful (i.e. growing pains) and I really have been growing. I’ve been growing in my relationship with him and it’s new-ish. My world was rocked and shaken…I have been made new and I’m learning to live this "newness" out. I don’t like it because it hurts...because it doesn’t feel good. But I have a feeling that I will appreciate it later…and now I know that feelings don’t always align with truth. God is still real and here with me and loves me even when:
1. I mess up
2. I mess up real bad
3. I’m human
4. I don’t feel him
5. I don’t see him
6. I’m mad at him
7. I want to “take a break” from him
8. I think he’s like my earthly dad
9. I think he’s being mean
10. I don’t deserve his love
There’s nothing I can do to make God love me less. There’s nothing I can do to make God love me more. Now that’s comforting.